"Spiritual Loser" is actually a nice way to say it, but it's where I'll start. Have I led anyone to Jesus in 31 years? Never. Prayed the Lord's prayer with a sinner? Nope. Done miracles? None. Seen any? Not really.
People never stop me and ask me about God. No one ever has asked me about the light inside me. That's supposed to happen, right? Aren't people supposed to see some kind of difference in a Christian and be drawn to them like a moth to a light bulb? Not to this one. Mr. Dim Bulb. That's me.
I did go on a short mission once and it didn't go so well. I've sat in church in 31 years and have in most ways been spiritually inert. Nothing special.
My spiritual life can't really crash and burn because it's barely moving. I feel like I'm driving a Porsche that's never been out of first gear. If I crashed...it'd be a dent in the fender.
I read once that a New Mexico fellow in the early 1900's won a sports car, but had no idea how it ran, so he hitched it to a mule team. The thing was designed to do 100 miles per hour. It went 3. On a good day. That's been my spiritual life.
Ever been on a freeway and got stuck in the slow lane and see the cars whizzing past you? That's my Christian experience. After 3 decades of God, you'd think I've found the Wonder Working Power. No, just dry wells.
So I'm going to rip on the Bible, right? Toss God under the bus? Give up on Jesus and join the local atheistic gig rolling cigarettes at the artisan espresso shop?
Are you OUT OF YOUR EVER-LOVIN' MIND? Why give up on the One Good Thing I have going for me? Heavens no! I love God. I need God. I absolutely rely on God. He is The Most Special Thing I could ever hope for and I'm not going to let a few (31) bad years stop me from getting things right with Him.
But I'm stuck in a rut and I want out and I'm going to try a few things and see if they work, and I'll let you know along the way how it's going. I'm a fantastic candidate for this because I'm basically at the bottom. No velocity, no spiritual vector.
If you're a spiritual giant or have things with God well under control, I think this blog will pretty much bore you. They say great baseball players make poor coaches since they naturally play the game well and can't relate to teach the un-naturals how to play.
I don't want a Spiritual Giant to show me how he does it. As if I could do it his way anyway. "Well, first I get up and pray two hours...read 40 chapters...write an exegesis on them." Oh My Goodness, would you Shoot Me Right Now? When I get up, I'm feeling around for my Cleveland Browns nightshirt. (The Browns...if you had to tie my spiritual record to a sports team, the Browns would do nicely) and try to find the bathroom. I am NOT praying two hours in the morning. A couple of minutes is a bonus.
A quiet time? Devotions? Are you kidding? Who has the time? I've tried, but end up falling asleep. Bible reading? I Love The Bible, but frankly...it's not as stimulating as many of the websites just a few clicks away. It's real hard to stay focused...on...it...I...wonder...how...the Mariners did last night, let's check out the sports website.
If you're not a Bible believer, you're probably going to want to steer clear. I believe the Bible is the clear direction from God. Could I be wrong? Sure. I'm more fallible than most people. Is it possible that Jesus is some fairy tale made by the same guys who invented Santa Claus? I don't think so, but I'm not that smart. (My wife says I'm not the sharpest bulb in the barn. She's got a great sense of humor.) So, yeah, maybe I'm wrong about the Bible, but you've got to have a deck under your feet unless you want to be shark food, and this is the footing I've chosen to stand on and I'm going to stick with it cuz I've not found significant fault with it in 31 years and I think if it was not true, I'd have seen it by now.
And one thing while I'm at it. Honestly, I don't have time for fairy tales. I don't have time for made up stories. I want the Truth. The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth. Honestly I want to do what's True and Right and Real.
Sorry, I haven't even gotten to the place I planned to start yet....so I'll leave that for next time. But it will be about Following God. What does that mean? I don't honestly know, but I've got an idea and that's kind of the reason for the blog in the first place...a place for me to share what I think that means, and put it into practice and see if year 31 is any better than the previous ones. Hey, if I follow though (that would be amazing since I never seem to finish what I start), at least we'll know if I'm right or not and that would make the exercise worth while.
Stay tuned. This might be interesting.
