Beating the McFly Syndrome

In one of the old fables, a father and son were walking their donkey to market. A passing citizen remarked how foolish they were to not use the donkey to ride on. So, they both climbed on the donkey and continued on.

A few minutes later another passer-by commented on how cruel it was for them both to ride the poor animal. So, the father hopped off, and they continued.

In the next moment, another traveler allowed how little respect the son was showing to his father…riding the donkey while the old man had to walk. So the father and son traded positions.

That worked fine until then next passer-by indignantly noted how evil the father was, riding like a king while he made his poor boy walk like a little slave.  So, they switched places again.  The story continued on like this until the two arrived at the market…carrying the donkey.

The moral of the story is, of course, that if you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one.

Well wasn’t that the life story of George McFly in Back to the Future? He was “not very good at confrontations.” So, in effect, he spent every moment trying to appease everyone…fellow students, school administrators, parents...and Biff.  McFly spent his life not being who he really was and trying not to offend anyone. And as a result, he moved himself into a place where he was alone and relevant to no one.

Finally George realized that there was something worth fighting for…and dropped Biff like a sack of potatoes with the right cross that launched Back to the Future II and III.

I’ve lived like a McFly for years. There are many of us people pleasers who “don’t do well at confrontations.” I avoid them like the plague. 

I tried to please the world, my flesh, my family, relatives, colleagues at work, God, churchpeople.  I was engaged in a hire-wire balancing act, trying to keep everyone appeased.  And, I ended up carrying the donkey.   I stood for nothing and guided myself into loneliness and irrelevancy. Hello! McFly? Is anybody home? Can’t you see what you’re doing to yourself?

But as I work the Spiritual Loser's Operational Plan (SLOP), I’m starting to see how I’ve been trying to appease everyone in my life…and…that I don’t have to.

While I need not be as dramatic as George McFly in turning things around (I don’t intend to slug anyone) I’m seeing now only One that I really want to please.

As I continually look into God’s face and see his love, compassion, excitement, encouragement, forgiveness, acceptance, affirmation, peace, protection, etc., I can let go of my appeasing attitude and seek to please just Him. He’s easy to please. Trying to please everyone else is…well, it’s frustrating and impossible.

I suppose I will begin to step on a few toes who will begin to wonder why I don’t fold like a deck of cards like I used to. And my goal there will be to continue to look on God’s face, relate to Him with faith through the Holy Spirit, and let God’s love overflow from me like a river, and let that deal with the situation. I see no issues with that.

I feel like I’m growing, and I feel like I’m growing in the right direction. It feels good.

　
　
　

Rivers, Fakers, and Lakers

It’s certainly not an original thought, but one that’s been on my mind a bit recently. If we are relating to God, seeking His face and letting him meet all of our emotional needs, then we’re full of all we need, And since our needs are abundantly met, we can begin to overflow like rivers overflowing their banks onto parched, dusty dry land.  Man, there is a lot of parched land out there.

If we’re not being filled, we’re empty and become like lakes, hoping and needing to be filled by others and other things. I’ve spent many years doing this, trying to latch onto people and things, to have them meet my needs. Maybe I pretended to be a river, but in reality I expected them to reciprocate, to help fill my emptiness. In so doing, I revealed that I was not a river. I was really a fake river.  I was a laker.

I hope my acting days are over. I know I don’t have what it takes to generate what it takes to meet my emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, and I don’t want to burden others to meet my needs. And I don’t want to be a fake river, pretending to give only to expect to receive.

So if I’m dry, I pray that I won't strive.  I’ll try to be satisfied just being dry and will look to the One who provides the water I so desperately need. Instead of playing mind games to get you to give me some kind of substitute that won’t really satisfy me anyway. And I think I know enough not to try to meet my own needs. (No, I do not “believe in myself.”) I’ll wait for His river to fill me. That’ll take faith…the first SLOPpy step of the Spiritual Loser's Operations Plan.

The good news is, of course, that once lakers get filled, they begin to spill over and become the source...of rivers.

“So Champ,” you say, “You’ve been blabbin’ and bloggin’ for a couple of months. You promised to report whether this is real or hot air. Which is it?”

I don’t know. As I’ve said before I’m not a professional. I’m a loser looking to follow God and wondering if I‘m on to something here. I certainly don’t want to lead anyone down a foolish path. But I can say this: I’m beginning to see victories…some big victories…and failures, in areas where before I only saw failures. Enough victories where I feel I’ve got enough validation that maybe I‘m heading in the right direction. I’ll keep you posted.

Be-ings and Do-ings

Several years ago I heard a preacher talk about what God meant when God named Himself “I AM.”

This particular preacher said…and I agree with him…that God left the last part of His name blank, like “I AM ______.” Whatever we need, we can fill in the blank.

If I am afraid, than God says, “I AM your protector.” If I’m frustrated, then He says, “I AM your peace.” If I’m confused, then he says, “I AM your understanding.”

In addition to all the amazing things God does for us, He IS…whatever we need. And as I seek to look into His face for all He is, I sense this and I feel I’m becoming much more consistent in my emotions during my day.

This takes faith. Honestly, I don’t feel this way a lot. But we can’t go on by feelings any more than a pilot flying through clouds can go by his feelings of how the plane is flying. He or she needs to check and believe the instruments. I used to pilot 2-seater Cessnas, and was drilled by my instructors to not trust my feelings, but to go with the instruments. Trusting in our feelings will kill us.

I’m glad this is part of the Spiritual Loser's Operations Plan (SLOP). The first SLOPpy step is to pray for faith. In Hebrews 11:6 God says without faith we can’t please Him. A God this good…I want to please Him.

Another thought is that what’s most paramount is our relationship to God, not the things we do. The whole premise of this blog…and I hope it’s right…is that entering into a right, true and meaningful relationship with God will allow Him to heal us, give us joy and peace, and then will empower us to do the things He has for us to do. He provides the initiative, He provides the direction and He provides the power. At the end of the day, He gets all the credit and all the glory since the work is His.

I’ve heard pastors say this, but then sort of downplay it later by implying that we also have to do this and that. I guess I’m going rogue here and will believe that I don’t have to do anything, but just follow the SLOP and make my only goal a better relationship with God. I’ll be my own guinea pig and I’ll let you know if I crash in flames, and we’ll both learn something.

But I believe the Meaning Of Life has Nothing to do with Doing Things For God. But it has Everything to do with Being With God. We are Human Be-ings, Not Human Do-ings. By being with God...talking, listening, relating to Him... we will be spiritually, emotionally, and maybe even physically prepared to do the tasks He has for us. This should be our direction, and our goal, and then we can watch and be amazed as God takes us, changes us, prepares us and sends us to do His will.

My best guess. Pray over it and see what God tells you.

God's Expressions

Children are needy. Let me rephrase that. Children are desperately needy. Every committed parent knows this. A child won’t survive without an adult watching over them, protecting them, helping them, guiding them, providing for them and doing the thousand things necessary for them as they grow.

The Bible says that to enter into God’s family, we must become like children. We are needy. Please, I’m not using this as an excuse, but I’m presenting it as a fact. We are desperately needy. We are faulty, jealous, self-absorbed, weak-minded, lazy, with little faith and with too much pride. But God is happy to have us call Him “daddy.”

What could possibly be a better deal than that? Seriously, I cannot think of a better deal.  Anywhere.

What I’m driving at here is that I want to daily recognize how needy I am for God. I feel like a minnow in a big ocean and there are a lot of big fish that can take me out…big fish over which I have no, zero, zilch control.

I am needy for the basics…air, water, food…and the billions and trillions of miracles that happen…uh…miraculously inside my body. A heart that beats, lungs that miraculously take in air and expel the exhaust, blood that flows, the electrical system that moves me. I mean, can’t we just flip through an anatomy book and count the hundreds and thousands and millions of minor miracles each moment that keep us alive.

And other needs. I get scared. I get angry. I get frustrated. I get tempted. I get tired. I am needy for God.

And as I’m trying to seek God’s face in my busy day, I’m beginning to find…and I’m pretty sure it’s not just my imagination…that for each of my weaknesses and needs, God’s face has an expression to help me overcome my weakness.

As I go through my day, I’m trying to remember to ask God for faith and the filling of His Holy Spirit and trying to have conversation…real conversation with him, and then trying to seek His face. Probably in 24 hours…maybe I’m up to 20 minutes a day.

And as I mentioned before, I am trying to imagine what his face could look like…a face with these expressions towards me…the image of the expressions of what every child wants…and desperately needs from their parent or parents: Love, mercy, kindness, acceptance, affirmation, affection, commitment, enthusiasm, nurturing, all knowledge, all wisdom, all power, compassion, encouragement, peace, serenity, etc.

And as I struggle through my workday, different issues come up. Minor annoyances that take away my joy. When I make mistakes, I get insecure and get fearful. Several items that come out of nowhere and need to be done “right now‘ that stress me out. You know, the things of life which so easily derail me.

And when I stop for a moment and seek to imagine the expressions on God’s face and “hear” Him say “come to me” and see his power and commitment to me, I’m not fearful anymore and can find joy in my day. 

When frustrations come up and I look at his wisdom and commitment to me, I’m better able to accept He’s got a plan for this, and relax and enjoy Him and let the frustrations go. 

When I screw up (and I screw up a lot), I look at his expression of love, and mercy, and acceptance of me and realize that I don’t have to be perfect, but I’m safe in His perfection, I’m able to return to a sense of peace much more quickly. 

When I react in anger and allow stress to overcome, I’m much more able to pull my eyes off the problem, look at His expression of love for me, see how huge He is and how small my problem is, and that everything is truly under control and I don’t need to be anxious about anything because He controls Everything. And I’m able to recover to a state of peace much more quickly.

I know others have much bigger battlefields with higher stakes, but this is my battlefield for now and I desire to continue on in looking for God’s expressions in as many circumstances as I can, and taking delight and comfort and aid, and every kind of help from Him for I am needy.  Desperately needy.

God's Face

I strongly desire to see God’s face more and more each day.  Right now…each day…I’m probably up to a few minutes…total…but we need to start somewhere.  Remember that Keith Green song?   “Lord, you’re beautiful, your face is all I see.”  It’s Keith Green, not scripture, but this is my desire.  I am finding myself desiring to see God’s face.    Because it’s way more than just beautiful.

My thought is that by seeking His face and seeing how good and wonderful He is, I will be drawn to him, and from that relationship  I will be filled with the things I need and those will cause me to become more and more like Him, and will overflow from me to those around me.  I am not a paid professional and I am trying this at home.  

Here is what I envision His face to look like, and this is what I’m seeking.  From reading the Bible and making my best guess, God’s face is:
 

Radiant.  Moses never saw God’s face…it would have killed Moses…but when God met with Moses, Moses’ face was radiant with the reflection of his meeting with God.

The A’s: 

Accepting, Affirming, Affectionate.  God has demonstrated throughout scripture His complete desire to relate to us, especially by giving Jesus to bridge the gap separating God from us.

The E’s:

Encouraging, Enthusiastic.  It’s clear to me that God is not relating to me because he’s obligated to…he’s relating because he wants to.  It’s what He loves to do. He likes hanging with me.  It’s His idea.  I don’t have to  remind Him…it’s completely the other way around.  He’s ready to go, 24/7.   Who doesn't want that?

The P’s:

Powerful, Protecting  God is all-powerful.  It’s the title you get when you create the universe.  And he’s my dad…he’s going to be there to protect me.  Sometimes I don’t feel safe, but how I feel isn’t always reality either.  In faith, I am completely secure.

Peaceful and Serene.  When you know what's going to happen and have the resources to handle it easily, there won't be much out there to get you riled up.

Nurturing:  Good relationships grow.  God wants our relationship to grow and he nurtures it.

Wise and Knowing.  God knows everything and has all wisdom to use that knowledge.  Nothing surprises Him.  Nothing confuses Him.

You know how commercials tell you you’re supposed to check with your doctor before starting any exercise or diet plan?  Well, I encourage you to pray about this SLOP.  I’ve come to this through a lot of thought and prayer and I think these are easily defended by scripture.  Yet, I’m not a professional and I don’t want to lead anyone astray.

As always, the proof is in the results and hopefully I’ll start seeing some…good or bad…that I can report.

On The Starting Line...

So, that’s the SLOP…if anything, it’s just praying to God, talking and listening to God and focusing on God.  Sort of thin on details, you say?  I don’t disagree, but I’ve tried thick plans that didn’t work, so if simple works, all the better.  Like the dude on a diet, I’m just looking for results and I'm hoping SLOP will help me.

I think this has possibilities and I definitely think it’s worth a try.  But it’s important that it’s got God's Seal of Approval.

If this plan is of God, there are a couple of tests it needs to pass.   First, any plan that’s of God needs to give Him all the credit and all the glory.  And I think this does.  This plan is initiated by God in sending Jesus to the cross, initiated by his invitation to us to follow Him, and accomplished with His power, not mine.  If this accomplishes a better closeness to God, it’s All Him, and not me.  That’s important.

He initiates.  He draws me closer.  It’s all Him.

But here’s the part that I think is really cool.

Have you ever given a gift to someone that’s beyond excellent, a gift which cost you dearly, yet you’re so happy to give it and you’re Really Genuinely Excited for the recipient to open it and use it or wear it?  The idea here is that you’re excited and you can’t wait for the recipient to accept it and put it to use.  It’s that good.

Now, imagine God giving us Jesus…a gift which cost him dearly…a gift of infinite, humungous, undefinable proportions…a gift so tall and deep and wide and amazing it can’t be measured.  Here’s my point.  I believe this gift from God is so awesome, so huge, so expensive and demonstrates His all-out crazy-amazing love for us that He is Amazingly Absolutely Pumped for us to open his gift of Jesus, and put it on and wear it.  Not pumped just for one day or a few days…but excited for every second we share with him every day.

In thinking this through, I’m convinced, God is jazzed, primed, juiced, and electrically charged to Be With Us Every Moment.  And this is a big change of heart for me.  Previously I saw God as accepting, certainly, and hanging with me, yes, but sort of like He’s in the room, reading a book in the corner, while I’m playing on the floor.  In other words, He’s here, he’s keeping an eye on me, but He’s sort of not that into it.

I don’t believe that at all now.  I believe that He has the capacity to not only be paying complete and total attention to every one of us every moment, but that He is completely excited, energized, electrified, eager, thrilled, animated, amped, jazzed, pumped, etc., etc., etc., in every moment of my life in every situation, watching me put on Jesus and encouraging me forward, just like the dad encouraging his child across the kitchen floor.  

Maybe when I look at Him, that’s where the power comes from?  If so, I’m on His power supply and not mine and that’s a relief because I Ain’t Got No Power.  Again, look at the title of the blog.  Spiritual Loser.  Whatever I’ve been doing before hasn’t been working.

So when I’m looking him in His face, day after day, time after time,  He is genuinely excited, energetic, enthusiastic, engaged, eager, and ready to go, as we make our way through the day together.  He’s excited for me when I wake up.  He’s pumped as I stumble to the bathroom.  He’s amped as I fix lunch.  He’s enthused to drive in to work with me, all the while encouraging me closer to Him.

He’s engaged and passionate to go through work with me…and all day long.  He’s waiting for me to look to Him, to walk to Him.  Can this be true?  I think so. I think it’s worth a run to see if it’s right.

So what am I going to do to respond?  I’m going to pray that He fills me up with faith and His Spirit as often as I can.  I’m going to converse with him and listen and share with him as much as I can.  And I’m going to imagine his face, his excited, enthusiastic, encouraging face and look into it as often as I can and let it draw me to Him as he says “Follow Me” and see what difference, if any, that makes in my life. 

Will it work?  Hope so.  Details coming soon.

Here's the Plan, Part 2

Independence Day.   In a country which prides itself on independence…it’s pretty easy to see the United States continue to attempt to become more and more independent from God, become its own boss and chart a new course.  Some celebrate that change.  Others, like me, are saddened by it.

If God is our father, we are his children.  Children are wired to be…dependent.  In thinking about this…I think when he says we’re his children…I don’t think God is meaning 12 year olds…or even 10 year olds.  I think the most mature Christian will never pass the “toddler” stage in God's family. 

So,we will never achieve “independence” from God and I Thank God for this.  I Love Being His Child.  I Love the fact that he’s happy to establish that kind of relationship with me, and announce to all creation that I’m part of His family...that He's committed himself to me.

If I consider carefully the words of the song…"Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us that we should be called the Children of God"…that God gladly signed and sealed  my adoption papers, bringing me into His Family…not as servant or slave, but as a true child with all the full rights and privileges as if I was born as his own.   He sealed that deal at the cross and on His word which He Never breaks, we have been given this new committed family relationship with Him and it can Never Ever be revoked. 

He says He wants to be my Dad for eternity.  It’s the Best Deal I’ll ever get.  I’m taking it.  I’m real real glad to be his toddler, since He not only knows How To Love…but He IS Love.

So when God says “Follow me,” I’m not thinking about straining behind that big ranger dude, I’m thinking about my powerful Dad with the wonderful, loving, encouraging, nurturing, excited, happy expression, backing up slowly across the kitchen floor…and all I have to do is follow Him, knowing that when I slip…and I will slip a lot…that He’ll catch me and put me back up and we’ll repeat the routine.

It’s the safest environment ever.  Who wouldn’t want to follow that kind of a dad?  I would follow that father anywhere.  Why not?

The trick is…isn’t it…that I get distracted, and get my eyes off God and start to focus on the problems of life.  And just like the disciple Peter on the Lake, he found that as he took his eyes off his God, Peter began to sink.  Is that not exactly what happens in life?  If I start considering the problem and dealing with the “what if” scenarios…I’m scared, I’m intimidated, I lose hope, I lose perseverance, I lose peace, I lose joy.  I lose.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times this has happened to me.  It’s the story of my fear-based life.  I can run through “what if” scenarios…and they’re all pretty much worst-case…and I stop and my heart races and I lose hope.  Maybe this is why I can’t get my spiritual sports car out of first gear…I forget about God and quit on God.  F & Q…forgit and quit.  I should get the tattoo.

However, God says perfect love casts out fear.  I don’t have perfect love, but…News Flash…He does!  So now I come to a spiritual fork in the road. 

When I come to a Problem….(Smart people call them “issues.”  But I never seem to have issues, only “problems.”)…here’s the deal.  I need to figure out which is more real…the problem, or God.  I need to figure out which is closer to me, the problem…or God.  I need to figure out which is more powerful…the problem or God. 

If the problem is more real than God, closer than God and stronger than God, then I need to ignore God and focus on the problem since He can’t help me anyway.  And I look in my little anti-problem toolbox and it’s pretty much empty and now this Problem becomes a BIG Problem and it’s a steam roller and I prepare to get flattened.  Again.

But…and this is a Big But…(can Christians say “Big But?”) If God is closer to me than the problem, and if God is more real than the problem and if God is more powerful than the problem, I’m free to acknowledge the problem and then thank God for handling it, and then just focus on God and not the problem.

Chelsie Smith of City Church, Kirkland, WA (those Smiths just seem to keep elbowing their way into this blog) encourages us to acknowledge the problem for what it is, and then turn to God to solve it.  In her words, give the problem a Glance…and then return your Stare to God.  Let God “work the problem out” as He “works Himself In.”

The key question is “How?”  Honestly, I don’t know for sure.   May I remind you of the title of this blog?  If I knew, I wouldn't be trying to figure it out on the fly.

But (finally) here’s my plan.  I call it the Spiritual Loser's Operations Plan.  (That's S.L.O.P. for short.)  This is what I plan to put into effect in my life as best as I can....and I’ll report back to you faithfully (unless I forget or quit) from time to time and let you know how or if it’s working.

THE PLAN

     

1.     Every time I think of it, I will pray to God as sincerely as I can for faith…that God will fill me with as much faith as He would and that I could stand firmly in that faith.

2.      Then I will pray as much as I can that He would fill me with his Holy Spirit abundantly as much as He can and that His Spirit would grow me and guide me.

OK, here are my thoughts on 1 & 2.  First, no “rules” here.  No metrics.  I’m going to ask as much as I remember to ask.  I’ll stick a note on my computer at work and will try to put one in my car as well.  We can't relate to God by formulas and strategies.  I mean, I’ve tried.  But we relate to God just like you’d relate with anyone else.  Talking, doing things together, etc.
 

Will God answer these prayers?  I think so.   I think these prayers will bless His heart…that his child wants a better and closer relationship with him?  In the book of Matthew, Jesus told us that if a child asked his parent for bread or a fish, a good parent wouldn’t serve up a rock or a snake instead.  And God the father is a much much better parent than any one of us could aspire to. So yes, I think He will respond positively to this.

3.      I want to put myself into that kitchen scene…with me being a toddler and looking up into God’s face, the best I can, and see his love, affection, affirmation, excitement, kindness and patience, etc, God saying “Follow me,” and let myself be drawn to him, not focusing on other things, but just his face. 

4.      Then, I’m just going to interact with God as best I can. I don’t see him, and I don’t feel him or hear him…but I’m going to use the faith and the Holy Spirit He just gave me to talk to him, to listen to him, to plan with him, to get a sense of where he is and try to understand where he wants me to go and what he wants me to do.

That's the whole S.L.O.P.  And with this plan, I'll just try it and evaluate it using the format of Testing Real Outcomes Using God's Help.  (That's T.R.O.U.G.H. for short.)  Of course we'll need to use the formal "Progression In God" (P.I.G.) scale for final endorsement. 

Really, I'm aiming for the Heart Of God.  I'd call that the H.O.G., but while aiming for a cute punchline...I'm dead serious about the message.  I want to be close to his heart...it's the best thing in life.

I want to try this and see if I've got it right...or wrong.

I’ve got a few more thoughts on the “whys,” but I’ll leave it at that for now and fill in a few blanks next time.  But on Independence Day, I’ll run this much up the flagpole and see if any angels salute.